Dear Human Body Corporation:
Today, I found out that you are planning to fire me, your endocrine system, and you need to know that that would be a huge mistake. I've done so much to look out for you all these years, and this is what I get? How could you be so ungrateful? Clearly, you've forgotten about what it is exactly that I do for you; it's time for a reminder. Seriously, even though there are other body systems, the endocrine system shouldn't be fired because that would cause growth disorders, a nasty disease called P.O.S., and diabetes.
Hey, you're not even fully grown yet, and if you fire me, you might not ever be! Without me you'll be overweight for your height. Your growth would slow down dramatically. In fact, your face would always look younger than your actual age, and not in a good way. People would think you were some kind of little fat freak because of all of your growth disorders.
Then there's P.O.S. - polycystic ovarian syndrome. Think you're a pizza face now? Well you wouldn't believe how bad your zits will be without me! Oh, and you'll develop some lovely velvety dark skin around your neck and armpits! By the way, if you're a lady, you can expect to have to start shaving - your whole body! Lose the endocrine system, and say hello to P.O.S.!
By getting rid of me you'd also risk getting diabetes, another serious disease! Diabetes can lead to heart disease. Also, you might go blind. Kidney disease would also be likely if I weren't around to take care of you. Diabetes is a frightening disease, and without me there's a good chance you'll develop it.
Don't fire the endocrine system if you want to avoid growth disorders, P.O.S. and diabetes! Sure there are other body systems, but we're all important! I know that times are tough, but you should seriously consider maybe just shaving off all your hair if cut backs are absolutely necessary. We've come a long way together, and I think we can still have a great future. Hey, would you really want to be a short, fat, blind, pizza face with a mustache? Let's work this out.
Sincerely,
The Endocrine System
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